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Our Newest Adventure

I admit I’ve been AWFUL at posting on our website, or updating any part of it at all. We’ve just had so much happening in the last couple years and it gets pretty overwhelming. I try to keep current snippets of our lives on our Facebook and Instagram pages but the website definitely has taken a back seat. I apologize.

Despite all the ups and downs, we’ve got some really exciting news that is quickly shaping the way all of our future adventures will unfold!

We have another little coconut on the way!

This time, a baby girl, and she will arrive sometime in June 💕 Her guess date is actually on Brig’s 3rd birthday – June 13 – so whenever she does decide to arrive, they will be almost exactly 3 years apart in age! She appears to be perfectly healthy and I can already feel her kicking away. We’re over the moon!

Just yesterday marked 21 weeks. More than half way! It’s taken a long time to shed some of the fear and allow myself to truly be excited. To let this feel real.

A good friend once posted of their similar experience and that post helped me when I needed it most, more than I ever thought it could. So I decided that I wanted to share our experience too, just in case it helps even one person, someday.

Our journey

A year and a half after Brig was born we still were not able to get pregnant again. I was losing hope and began wondering if it would ever happen. I learned a lot about infertility during that time and I couldn’t help but hear that faint, terrifying sound of my biological clock ticking away even though I knew there was still plenty of time. I was 35. Eventually, that positive test did come along and I was even more elated than I was the first time!

I got to see baby during a dating ultrasound in the States and I immediately recognized that perfect little flicker of a heartbeat on the screen. I was diagnosed with a subchoronic hemorrhage (SCH), though the midwife reassured me it would most likely resolve itself eventually. It didn’t, and I’ll never know if it made any difference or not.

Nothing could’ve prepared me for what happened next. At 12 weeks, at the very end of the first trimester and just 3 days before my 36th birthday, we had a miscarriage. It was the middle of the night. I’ll spare the details here but I’m happy to talk about it privately if it might help anyone reading this. Talking to other women that had been though this before is what helped me when I needed it most.

I got to hold that tiny baby in my hand while my heart was simultaneously shattered into a million pieces and I had to figure out how to process the idea that I wasn’t pregnant anymore. I think deep down I knew something wasn’t right all along. I had felt amazing during the whole pregnancy. No morning sickness or loss of energy at all though I was definitely already showing a decent size baby bump as many second pregnancies do.

By that point we had shared the news of our pregnancy with family and close friends and it actually helped to talk about our loss when we then had to tell all those people we weren’t pregnant anymore. Somehow, life went on. We had endured so many losses and major life changes over the course of two years that everything was just a blur for me. A big hazy cloud. The only thing that kept me looking forward was our beautiful and amazing baby boy who was turning 2.

It took 6 months and a lot of prayers and hope but we finally got pregnant for the third time. Even though this time everything has felt different, it’s been hard to let my guard down and feel the joy I so want to feel. I absolutely loved being pregnant with Brig and I feel like that joy has been stolen from me this time. It’s taken almost half the pregnancy but I think it’s finally coming back. We are 21 weeks and although there’s always a chance of something going wrong, I finally feel like this is real. Our rainbow baby is on her way! 🌈 (For those of you that have never heard that term before, a rainbow baby is a child born after a miscarriage, stillbirth, or infant death, reminding us of the rainbow after the storm and bringing hope of what’s to come.)

I have been terribly nauseous all day everyday from 3-17 weeks and Brig has been such a good kid through it all. I’m still pretty low on energy but the nausea has passed and I finally able to function during the day and not feel miserable. My mom was just here for two weeks to visit Brig and that helped a lot. I’m just now getting some projects knocked off the list as my nesting kicks into high gear. Let the fun begin!!

Choosing a name

We’ve had a girl name picked out since before we knew Brig was a boy. His name didn’t get decided on until he was two days old 🙈. There’s always a chance I could change my mind, but for now we have decided to name her Waverly 💕 

your story

Do you have a similar story about pregnancy/infant/child loss or infertility? Willing to share? Please help me make it known just how common it is. I wish it wasn’t such a taboo topic. It really is unbelievable just how common it is.

I respect that everyone grieves and heals in their own way and it’s perfectly okay to keep it private too. But when we do decide to speak out and share our own story, I’ve personally witnessed how much it can help and how much peace it can bring to those of us going through something similar. We all have a story. We all go through the hard stuff, in different forms. That’s life. But sometimes it feels just a little easier when we are reminded that we’re not alone and there really is someone else that understands.

Hurricane Irma

So, Hurricane Irma has been barreling across the Atlantic during the last few days and she’s headed right for us. Though the forecast doesn’t show her as a direct hit, all bets are off with a major (Cat3 and above) hurricane. The most reliable model is the Euro and that has it coming straight for us. The less reliable GFS model shows it going further North of us. The two models still don’t agree and we are anywhere from 4-5 days out. The direction and strength can change so fast despite what the forecast models show so we pretty much have to prepare for the worst.

It’s really difficult to wrap my brain around this, especially after the recent flooding we had here on Tortola and all the destruction caused by Hurricane Harvey in Texas. I mean, I know it’s peak hurricane season here in the Caribbean but you just never think it’s gonna happen to you. I’m really good at being in denial about stuff like this. It’s our fourth hurricane season and really the first time we’ve ever had to “expect” a named storm on our doorstep.

I’m actually pretty emotional about the whole thing. Granted, I have all these postpartum hormones making it worse, but Peter and I made a decision to have me fly off island with Brig. It’s just not worth risking our safety with something this big and this strong coming so close.

It wasn’t until just two days ago that this was even an option. Technically, he cannot enter the U.S. without a passport. Since he was born in BVI and does not qualify for a BVI passport, we technically have to wait until the US Consulate in Barbados comes to visit here in BVI to apply for his US passport.  Well, given our circumstances with an impending life threatening storm headed for us, the US Customs and Boarder Protection agency at the St Thomas airport has granted me special permission to let us travel with just a birth certificate for him instead of a passport.  The moment they told me that, I of course started to cry with relief. I don’t want to have to go anywhere but it really is the best thing.

Peter is going to stay here and continue to secure our boat for as long as it’s safe before taking shelter somewhere nearby. He’ll have Betsy to care for but at least he won’t have the added stress of making sure Brig and I are safe too. I’m going to take a ferry from Tortola to St Thomas and catch a flight out on Monday. I will be going up to stay with my family in Washington State far away from the Caribbean and the East Coast.

Its a decision we wouldn’t have made if we didn’t have Brig. I would’ve just stayed here and helped Peter with the safeguarding of our home. Everyone knows that when you have kids, your life changes. Your priorities change. You make different decisions. You do what’s best for your children no matter what.

A round trip ticket cost me $1400 two days ago with one three hour layover via American Airlines. Now there are no more American flights, and tickets are $1500 only available with Jet Blue with two layovers including one for 10 hours. ($2200 with United). I pretty much got one of the last decent flights available to fly out Monday. Let’s hope they didn’t overbook it.

Our boat is in the best possible location it could be in. Literally, the best spot inside this hurricane hole. The boat really shouldn’t see any waves at all and should feel reduced wind. Peter will do everything he can to make sure our home is safe.

I’m just sick about leaving my husband, my dog and my home in the path of a hurricane. Everything could be totally fine and then again it could be really bad. I pray they will be safe and that I will have a home to come back to. Everything we own is on that boat. It’s insured of course and it’s just stuff, but I can’t imagine losing everything I own in a natural disaster.

It happens all over the world. The west coast gets earthquakes and is due for “the big one”. The midwest gets tornadoes. We get hurricanes. I suppose we should be grateful we have so much warning.

I’m sure the cell towers will be down for quite some time so I may not be able to hear from Peter. I’m going to be worried sick. Power will be off island wide and he’ll be relying on the water and food supply we have stocked up. If the boat fares well, he’ll be able to stay aboard after the storm. If not, one person has offered their home to us so atleast Peter and Betsy will have a place to go either after the storm or before if things get too crazy.  Before I made my flight reservation we really didn’t have anywhere on land to go, so it wasn’t even a question of whether or not I should leave.

If you pray, please pray for us and for everyone in Irma’s path. We need all the positive vibes we can get…

I may not get a chance to post an update to our website as the storm approaches, but I will definitely be updating our Facebook page as I have more info. Even if you don’t have a Facebook account you can still see updates by clicking HERE

To all my friends and family in WA… now’s your chance to meet Brig! Send me a message <3

Hello Baby Brig!

On June 13th, 2017 our sweet little boy Brig was born! He measured in at 6 lbs 9 ounces and 18.9″ tall.

You might be wondering how we chose his name. First of all, Peter’s dad was named Peter, and his dad’s dad (Peter’s grandfather) was also named Peter. They all have different middle names.. My Peter’s dad passed away many years ago and we wanted to continue the tradition of giving his name to our son as well. Though we wanted to pass down the first name, we planned on calling our baby boy by his middle name to help ease any confusion. In searching for a suitable middle name, we tried to find one that had something to do with the ocean or water, but many of the cute ones had already become fairly common.

It wasn’t until the very end of my pregnancy that I found the name Brig on a baby name website. As soon as I looked up the meaning, it was instantly my new top choice. A Brig is an 18th Century sailing vessel with two square-rigged masts (not to be confused with Brigantine rigged). It’s a little bigger than a schooner; and according to Wikipedia, Brigs were seen as fast and maneuverable and used during the Age of Sail as naval warships and merchant vessels before the arrival of the steam ship. The name itself is one syllable, strong and very unique, also qualities I was searching for. I had to hold him for about a day after he was born before I knew for sure, but after a little while, it became clear that Brig was his name. Absolutely positively without a doubt he looks like a Brig!

It’s almost been four weeks since we first got to hold him and I honestly have no idea where the time has gone.  We’ve taken a bazillion photos since then but I’ve been having issues with the internet here in BVI so I haven’t been able to post anything on the website :( Even if you don’t have a Facebook account, you can still see all the photos I’ve posted on our public Facebook Page —HERE–.

My water broke at 6:30am the morning of the 13th and it took me a few hours to not be in denial that I was about to have this baby. I almost let Peter go to work that day thinking that nothing would be happening until later that night! Boy was I wrong.  At about noon Peter finally convinced me we should head to the hospital. He took Betsy over to stay with Jen and Mike from Three Sheets and then I carefully climbed down into the dinghy. Everyone had been so worried I wouldn’t be able to get into the dinghy but it was totally fine. By the time I got out of the dinghy on shore, things were finally progressing. Peter had gone to get the car but when I went to get in the back seat I was unable to talk through my contractions. I climbed in the back and put my earbuds in to listen to my Hypnobabies tracks. (More on this later). We arrived at the hospital at 12:45 and I walked from the parking lot in through the main entrance, into the elevator, up to the fourth floor and into the Labor and Delivery ward. Brig was born just two hours later at 2:44pm.

The next day, my mom arrived from the states. She was so sad she missed it by one day!! Mom, Peter, Brig and I left the hospital and made our way home on the 15th of June. We’ve all been falling in love deeper and deeper every day.

Fast forward almost four weeks… I’m so thankful mom has been here to help out. Brig wakes up just about every two hours to eat and fill his tiny belly, then goes back to sleep, which means I feel like a zombie 24/7. Each day gets a little easier though. I’m starting to get a little more energy and Brig is starting to stay awake a little longer.

Hopefully the internet issue will get sorted out soon and I can get caught up on posting photos to share with you! In the meantime, don’t forget to check our facebook page for a steady stream of Brig pics :)